In her New York Times article “The Happy Marriage Is The ‘Me’ Marriage,” Tara Parker-Pope writes, “The notion that the best marriages are those that bring satisfaction to the individual may seem counterintuitive. After all, isn’t marriage supposed to be about putting the relationship first? Not anymore.” This reflects a massive shift in how we think about marriage today. It’s no longer about “us” — it’s about “me” and what I need. The culture today places personal fulfillment as the highest goal in marriage, but this modern view misses the deeper, richer understanding of marriage found in the Bible.

The Bible shows us that marriage is not a contract but a covenant. This is where the real beauty of marriage lies. A covenant is a sacred, unconditional promise — one that reflects the very relationship God has with His people. Unlike a contract that can be broken when someone doesn’t fulfill their part, a covenant is a permanent, non-negotiable commitment. It’s a promise that endures through every circumstance, every trial, every change. It’s a promise that says, “I’m here, no matter what.”

When we look at marriage through the lens of a covenant, we realize it’s not just about finding someone who makes us happy or fulfills all our needs. It’s about two people coming together to serve and sacrifice for each other, just as Christ has done for us. The only other covenant we see in the Bible is the one God makes with His people. He promises to be with us, to love us unconditionally, even when we fall short. And that same kind of commitment is what He calls us to follow and model in our marriages.

Marriage, then, becomes not just a partnership but a reflection of God’s covenant love. It’s about giving, even when it’s hard. It’s about loving, even when it’s not easy. And it’s about staying, even when the world says it’s time to leave. A covenant marriage doesn’t waver when emotions change or when life gets tough. Instead, it grows deeper, more intimate, and more secure because it’s built on a foundation that can’t be shaken.

The richness of this covenantal love is something the modern view of marriage — focused on self-fulfillment — can never capture. When we commit to loving our spouse through the ups and downs, we experience a love that transforms not just our relationship, but our very character. We learn patience, grace, forgiveness — the same virtues God extends to us.